It's hard to believe that we just finished our fifth show. Geralyn and I tend to get into these very involved discussions about all kinds of things—relationships, coaching, goals, values communication, motivation, the list goes on and on. Usually, somewhere in the middle of the conversation, one of us would say “We should be recording this!” So now, not only do we record a lot of our conversations but we also decided to start doing a radio show. Geralyn has lots of experience doing shows. Me? Well, not so much, but I am learning and having a great time. Thanks so much for joining us and we will do our best to give you lots to think about.
It’s funny, when we first started, I wondered how we would fill an half an hour...
As the show IS only 30 minutes, Geralyn and I realized that we would almost certainly have much more to say on most topics. So we thought it might be a good idea to start a blog. I wanted to start doing this right after the first session but we both have so many things in the works at the moment that it's taken until now to get things going.
One of our goals for the show is to have it be interactive. If there's something you'd like us to talk about or you have any questions, comments or feedback, please drop us a note or give a call. We also both currently have coaching sessions available if there’s something you’d like some help with. You can reach me at 717-290-1736 or firstname.lastname@example.org. You can reach Geralyn at 808-261-7866 or Geralyn@voiceofspirit.com. We’re on Facebook—our page is called Syd and Geralyn http://www.facebook.com/pages/Syd-and-Geralyn/326433000774353and you can also contact us at www.WholisticUniversity.org.
You may have heard me say during the show that a huge part of a good relationship comes down to communication. I use the phrase “managing expectations”. Managing expectations means that you think about your actions and what results they might bring, and you discuss them with your partner if at all possible before you take those actions. Many times things that can cause stress in a relationship happen because one person doesn’t understand the other person's motivation and actions. If you simply talkabout things (I know it’s a radical idea) many misunderstandings can be avoided totally.
What I'd like to do whenever I do a blog post is to give you something to try with your partner. The purpose is to help improve your communication, your awareness and to have some fun together. I'd like to suggest that you keep these exercises light and playful. This isn't heavy duty therapy here it's just something to bat around and play with. Remember the goal here is simply to spend some time with your partner and to enjoy yourselves. After all isn't that supposed to be one of the benefits of being in a relationship?
Exercise #1 - Perceptual Positions
Take a moment to think back to a discussion that you had with your partner recently. It can be just about anything. It can even be something that the two of you didn't totally agree on. (Hint: that's my positive spin or "reframe" on what some people call a disagreement). Got one? Good.
1) Now what I want you to do is replay or reenact it.
Stay detached--almost like you're reading a script.
Run through the exchange the way you remember it from start to finish.
Once you're done, rewind it back to the beginning and do it again, but this time I want you to imagine that you've switched places with your partner and you’re speaking as them.
Just imagine for a moment that you are them, experiencing what they experience during the discussion. If it was a "disagreement", you're now on the other side. Go through the conversation again, experiencing it from the other side. Notice what you notice.
What are you saying, as them?
What are you feeling, as them?
What do things look like through their eyes?
Take a few minutes to contemplate this perspective
2) Go back to the beginning of the conversation again. This time when you replay it, imagine the situation from a third person’s view; In other words, watching yourself and your partner as if you are watching two friends have a discussion. Again take it from beginning to end.
Pay particular attention to the space between those two people (you and your partner).
How do the two of you look?
How do you sound?
What feelings do you get while watching this from a third person position?
Take a few minutes to contemplate this perspective
3) We've got one more. This time as you run the show, imagine that you’re way up above the situation. Some people call this the God position. This time experience the situation as you might if you were God or Spirit or the Field. Whatever you'd like to call it is fine. What we are going for here is a perceptual position that is way up above what's going on down there. This is a position which is all seeing and all knowing.
What does thatfeel like?
What do you notice now?
When you're in this position not only do you experience the conversation, but all things that are going on around it as well.
Take some time to talk about the different things you experienced in each of the different perceptual positions.
Looking back on that situation, how does it seem different now?
Well that should give you something to chew on for a little while. You may find that some of our blog posts will have a very obvious tie in to that week's show and other posts will have a different kind of connection. It's just another part of our journey as we take you from limiting beliefs to limitless love.